


When The Breeze Flows Gently Around Us

by K1mHeechu1



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, FAOI 2019, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Post-Pyeongchang, Realizations, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 00:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19261861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1mHeechu1/pseuds/K1mHeechu1
Summary: “Yuzu? What’s wrong? What is it?”“Nightmare. Just a nightmare. Don’t worry.”“Shhh… Just go back to sleep. I’m right here.”Yuzuru heard the message, the ice shouting out the words he had been avoiding, making him acknowledge the things he had known all along.It was time.





	When The Breeze Flows Gently Around Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KitsuneVen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitsuneVen/gifts).



> *SCREAMS*
> 
> Whatever this is, I guess, it's all KitsuneVen's fault for making me get the feels, so she gets my messy fic as a present.
> 
> I hope you guys like it! 
> 
> You can find me on Twitter @k1mheechu1

_ The waves crashed against the shore, loud, wild, but predictable, comforting. The moon painted everything its light touched silver, magical, almost other-worldly. _

_ The warm summer breeze blew softly, messing with Yuzuru’s hair as he walked, his hand being tightly held by a familiar, bigger hand. He turned his head to stare at Javier’s face with a smile, and Javier did the same as he felt Yuzuru’s stare on him. _

_ Javier pulled him to a stop and turned his body, so he was facing him completely, before taking a step forward, wrapping his arms around Yuzuru’s waist, and leaning in, inching closer to his face. Yuzuru closed his eyes, relaxed and waiting. Suddenly, the warmth around his waist vanished, and he opened his eyes. _

_ He looked around. _

_ Javier was gone, and he was left standing on the empty beach all alone. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


Yuzuru surged up, breathing heavily, tears falling down his cheeks, the sound of waves still crashing in his ears.

“Yuzu?” He turned to the side to find Javier lying next to him, face puffy, eyes tired, but concern evident in the furrow of his brow. “What’s wrong? What is it?” He raised a hand to rub at Yuzuru’s naked back, and Yuzuru closed his eyes, shaking his head.

“Nightmare. Just a nightmare. Don’t worry.” He laid back down and snuggled closer to Javier, who turned to lie fully on his back to hug his body better, and dropped a kiss on his forehead, warm with sleep and comfort.

“Shhh… Just go back to sleep. I’m right here.” Yuzuru nodded against Javier’s chest, and he fell asleep to the soundtrack of Javier’s heartbeat, strong and familiar.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


 

“But I don’t like tomatoes.” Yuzuru leaned away from the offending object being held in front of his face.

“You really need to learn to be less of a picky eater Yuzu, seriously. Come on, one cherry tomato is not going to kill you.” Javier said, trying to feed Yuzuru the tomato again only to be refused by a strong head shake. “If you eat the tomato, I’ll blow you on the shower tonight.” Javier tried.

“That’s not fair!”

“I’m not above bribing you, Yuzu, and you know it. Come on, one single tomato. Gone in a matter of seconds, and you get a blowjob.” Yuzuru glared at him, but opened his mouth, and Javier gleefully popped the cherry tomato in.

Yuzuru chewed it, making his disgust apparent as he made faces the entire time, before swallowing it and showing Javier it was gone.

“There, done, happy!?” Yuzuru instantly grabbed a piece of salmon with his chopsticks and chewed it quickly before drinking some miso soup, trying to get rid of the leftover tomato taste.

“Very.” Javier smiled smugly as he ate his breakfast.

Yuzuru threw one of his own untouched tomatoes at him and it hit Javier in the middle of the forehead, before falling inside his miso soup.

They looked at each other for a second before laughing.

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

 

“What about this one?” Javier stepped out of the changing room and showed Yuzuru his new outfit.

“It’s nice”

“Yuzu, you’re not even looking at me!” Javier complained, as Yuzuru was playing a game on his phone. Yuzuru paused the game and looked up, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s very… plaid.”

“But do you like it?”

“Yes, Javi, I like it, but I’m sure you have like 5 shirts that look just like that one at home.” Javier pouted at that. “Come on, just choose one and I’ll let you see what I bought when we get back.” He opened his backpack and showed Javier the bag he had stuffed there. Javier’s eyes darkened, pupils widening as he recognised the lingerie brand’s name printed on the bag.

“I’m getting this one and we’re leaving. Right now.”

Yuzuru smiled triumphantly, unlocking his phone and going back to his game.

  
  
  


Yuzuru escaped faster, laughing in a loud, honking manner as he tried to avoid the skater chasing him.

He squealed when Javier caught him, his arms wrapping around his waist and rising him up and away from the ice, loud pearls of laughing leaving Javier’s lips as they played around.

“YUZURU, JAVIER, IF YOU DON’T STOP PLAYING AROUND AND GET BACK TO TRAINING, I’LL HAVE YOU SKATING ONLY FIGURES FOR THE REST OF THE SESSION! EUROS IS ONE WEEK AWAY, JAVI! YUZU, GO BACK TO YOUR STEP SEQUENCE!”

Javier dropped him, and they look at each other, a glint of mischief still shining in their eyes.

“YES, BRIAN!” They called in unison, skating to opposite sides of the rink.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

 

 

Yuzuru looked up at Javier from where his head was resting on Javier’s lap, as they both spent a quiet night together just being Yuzu and Javi, talking, laughing, and lying on the sofa together, Javier sitting with Yuzuru’s head lying on his thighs, hands running through the silky strands of black hair.

“Effie won’t like it.”

“She doesn’t need to like it.” Yuzuru snorted, and Javier pinched his cheeks, making him whine. “She just needs to not scratch me when I try to get her inside.”

“I won’t like it.” Yuzuru muttered, and Javier’s gaze softened. He leaned down to plant a soft kiss on Yuzuru’s lips.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Yuzuru just shrugged, turning to lie on his side and burying his nose into Javier’s stomach. Javier just sighed and continued playing with his hair.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

 

 

“How unadventurous of you, Yuzuru.”

“Shut up.” Yuzuru glared at him, scoffing at his choice. “You lack appreciation for the fine art of eating a Big Mac. It’s a religious experience. There isn’t a better item in the entire menu.” He raised an eyebrow. “Besides, who are you to judge me? You didn’t only order a regular burger, but you also ordered a happy meal just because you wanted the toy.”

Javier looked offended.

“But Yuzu, look at this!” He held the tiny Charmander plushie keychain reverently. “It’s so cute!”

“It’s not like it’s a Pooh or something.” Yuzuru rolled his eyes, popping a fry in his mouth.

“Insult Charmander again, and you get no sex for a week.”

Silence.

Yuzuru ate another fry, pouting.

Javier ate his happy meal like the 27-year-old child he was.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

 

 

Yuzuru smiled as he stood out of view, hidden by the shadows, just watching Javier skate, the soft voice sang lyrics of regret, of lost chances, and he let himself get lost in the performance, lost in the foreign yet familiar sounds of the language he didn’t understand, but at the same time lost in the words he knew by heart. He had looked up the lyrics the second Javier announced he would be using the song. It tasted sweet, yet bitter as he tried to swallow the meaning of the song.

He stared at Javier, looking soft, vulnerable, pained as he painted feelings with his body he couldn’t put to words with his voice, moves talking about Yuzuru, everything from the Ina Bauer to the delayed axel carving Yuzuru’s name on the ice, displayed for everyone that could read between the lines to see.

Yuzuru heard the message, the ice shouting out the words he had been avoiding, making him acknowledge the things he had known all along.

He closed his eyes as Javier took his final pose, letting out a deep breath, and nodding.

It was time.

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

 

Knuckles tapping on lacquered wood.

A shuffle of feet. The door being unlocked.

Yuzuru was met with Javier’s smile the second the door opened, and he didn’t waste any time, he simply stepped inside, closed the door behind himself, and instantly claimed Javier’s lip in a kiss.

Javier let out a surprised noise, but instinctively kissed back, hands grasping Yuzuru’s waist, tongue sweetly caressing Yuzuru’s as they walked backwards until Javier’s knees hit the mattress, and they both fell back on the bed, Yuzuru instantly taking the chance to break the kiss and mouthed at Javier’s neck, tongue and teeth licking and biting at his skin, making Javier groan.

He got rid of Javier’s clothes first, then bared his own skin, cheeks flushing as Javier’s lustful gaze inspected the pale expanse of skin he had just uncovered.

Yuzuru made his way down Javier’s body, kissing his way down, trying to engrave on his memory the way Javier’s skin smelled, and then how Javier’s cock tasted inside his mouth, salty with precum, how velvety and warm and perfect its weight felt on his tongue. He sucked, and licked, and moved until his nose was buried against Javier’s skin, the feeling of Javier’s cock in his throat, the way it pulsed hotly, so close to climax.

Yuzuru leaned back, Javier’s cock falling heavily from his lips, red and shiny from his earlier activity. Javier looked at him with so much want, so much love in his eyes, Yuzuru felt overwhelmed.

Yet, he fought the feeling, allowing Javier to stretch him, one finger at a time, brushing his prostate with the tips of his fingers, while his mouth kissed and bit and licked Yuzuru’s ear as he muttered sweet nothings against the shell of it.

He moaned, and gasped, overwhelmed, as Javier entered him, Yuzuru’s back curving until only his ass and head were touching the bed, and Javier used the opportunity to lick and bite at his nipples, making him moan even louder.

The pace was fast and hard, Javier unforgivingly aiming his cock at his prostate as he jerked Yuzuru’s cock in time with his thrusts, feeling far too close to his own orgasm to be gentler. Yuzuru could hardly breath as Javier fucked him with reckless abandon, and he soon came all over Javier’s hand, his clenching muscles dragging Javier’s orgasm out of him, and soon Javier was lying his weight fully on Yuzuru, trying to breathe.

Yuzuru’s eyes were closed, but he knew what Javier must’ve looked like. It was impossible not to know how he looked. He had seen it so many times, it was as familiar as the feeling of the ice against his blades.

Javier finally pulled out of him, turning them around until Yuzuru was half lying on top of his body, and lazily running a hand up and down Yuzuru’s back gently, lovingly.

And Yuzuru broke.

He bit his mouth shut, trying to stop the sobs from leaving his lips, but hot tears were falling mercilessly, hitting Javier’s warm skin, and making him tense when he understood Yuzuru was crying.

“Yuzu, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Yuzuru’s body shook, and he tried even harder to gain composure. “Yuzu, please, tell me what’s wrong. Please, love” And at that, he stopped trying.

There’s no stopping at avalanche as it engulfs everything it finds on its way. Yuzuru had been bottling things up for far too long, and now he was being torn apart by an avalanche of his own creation.

“I love you. I love you. I love you so much” He managed between sobs, and Javier stared at him, bewildered eyes searching his face for an answer that was right there, but he couldn’t decipher. “I love you, Javi. I love you.” He moved to plant a long, heartfelt kiss against Javier’s lips, before breaking the kiss and leaning his forehead against Javier’s. He took a deep breath, and forced the words to leave his lips, even when he felt like he was dying, throat being ripped apart and heart lying mangled, maimed beyond recognition inside his chest. “I love you so much, I’m going to stop being selfish. I love you so much I’m letting you go” Javier made a loud sound, and Yuzuru pecked his lips again. “You need a future. You deserve everything you ever wanted. You deserve peace and happiness, and people that recognise your victories. You deserve a family, and holidays at the beach, and cuddling Effie and having babies and raising them to be great people, just as brave and kind and good as you are. And I can’t give you that.”

“Yuzu…” Javier’s eyes were full of tears now. And Yuzuru knew he had understood.

“I will always be your Yuzu. Always. I will always be your friend, your eternal rival. I will always cherish you, and love you, and I will be right here waiting for the moment when you feel you can look at me and think friend instead of love. But you need a future. And Yuzuru Hanyu will never be able to be your future.” Yuzuru’s voice trembled. “Most of the time I doubt Yuzuru Hanyu can even be my future. I sometimes doubt I can have a future, and not just fizzle and die as my career ends.” He cleared his throat. “I can’t allow Yuzuru Hanyu to drag you down with him. You shine too bright to be destroyed by his spotlight.”

Javier had tears running down cheeks as he listened to Yuzuru’s words, and he surged forward, quieting him with his lips, kissing him desperately, trying to tell him everything he couldn’t say.

Yuzuru already knew it all, but he let himself learn it again.

He read it in the way Javier gently kissed his lips as he used his fingers to stretch him again.

He felt it in the way Javier panted against his lips as he moved his body over Yuzuru’s.

He heard it in the way his own heartbeat soared as he tried to hug Javier impossibly close to his body.

They had fucked hundreds of times before. But this was not fucking. This was making pure, unadulterated love. They loved so much their hearts worked in sync, they wanted each other so strongly, their souls entangled as they kissed frantically, lips salty with their mixed tears.

Yuzuru came untouched on his stomach as Javier filled him with his essence as he came inside his body.

Their muscles trembled as they grabbed each other tightly.

Their hearts ached as they stood under the warm water that fell from the shower, Javier’s arms wrapped around Yuzuru’s waist, locking in place as if they were magnets and that was their rightful place, and Yuzuru’s arms resting on his neck.

They stared at each other’s faces as the water washed away the tears that were still falling.

They dried each other and got dressed painfully slow.

Yuzuru stood in front of Javier, a soft smile decorating his lips. It didn’t reach his eyes.

Javier just stared at him.

Yuzuru hugged him close, and kissed him, a soft, shy brush of lips that Javier instantly deepened, wanting it to never stop.

Yuzuru broke the kiss and smiled at him again. Raised a hand to caress Javier’s cheek before poking at his nose.

  
  


**_Let’s walk away as if_ **

**_Nothing’s wrong_ **

**_So that our last goodbye_ **

**_Will be beautiful_ **

**_Just smile a little longer until then_ **

  
  
  


He took a step back, biting his lip and closing his eyes for a moment, steeling himself, taking a deep breath before opening them once more and turning around.

Javier grabbed his hand, in one last, desperate attempt to stop him, tears falling down his cheeks.

.

Yuzuru squeezed his hand, looking back one more time. And then walked away.

Javier felt him fade away.

The click of the door locking behind his back.

A last goodbye.

 

 

 

 

**_Because we loved each other_ **

**_Let’s say our last goodbyes_ **

**_I pray that before this time ends_ **

**_You can find happiness_ **

**_Let’s not forget our love_ **

**_You and me_ **

**_Us_ **

**_Together_ **

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to yell at me in the comments, I deserve it.
> 
> Also, fun fact, but I cried like a baby while writing this.
> 
> This work will be locked in the future
> 
> All lyrics belong to Chen's Beautiful Goodbye. Go check the song out, it's amazing.


End file.
